Tuesday, September 15, 2009

No School Blues

I cried on the subway about two weeks ago.

A simple conversation about the way we were raised turned into uncontrollable and spontaneously mourning for a significant period of my life that no longer exists.

I was going off: I don't understand how people don't pay attention! Why don't people know what is going on around them?! My daddy always told me to keep your eyes and ears open.

And then it hit me. He hadn't told me that recently. It was the speech he saves for the first day of school. This was the first time in twenty years I hadn't heard that speech, because I didn't have a first day of school.

Transitioning into the "real world," as they say, has been slow but sure. For about three months now, I have been building up little bits and pieces of what I want and what I need to both survive and be a contributing member to society. In the process though, especially now that summer is gone, I'm trying to figure out exactly how to manage without the structure of preset curricula designed to achieve a fixed goal.

I know I'm prepared. I certainly have a plan. I am accomplishing tasks and achieving goals. But it's weird to know that this girl's days of uniforms, lunch boxes, and homework are really over.

1 comment:

Rodney said...

Good morning Sunshine:

I just read a couple of your blogs. Let me first say that I LOVE YOU and I am honored that I am related to you...pretty close relative at that!!! Your spirit mirrors mine. I have to believe that our ancestors (your big mom, mine and others) possessed that spirit of adventure and accomplishment and fortitude and arrogance (when necessary:-) and pride! I love it! My little grown up cousin graduated from the University of Iowa and is navigating the streets of New York like she owns them. I love it!!! You are a Renaissance woman!

Your Dad told me of some of the adversity you faced within the Dance Dept. at Iowa. Let me tell you, I've faced some of the same more recently here in the rural south regarding my professional career. But, as you have learned, it's all about how we react to it and use it as a stepping stone for other opportunities and challenges that we will inevitably face. You shine as an example of what is good and exciting about those of your generation. As I deal with high school students each day, I can be reminded of the hope that you represent for a new generation.

Parting thoughts...You have and will accomplish much in this life. It is inevitable. You have been predestined to do much. For to whom much is given, much is required! You know that your Big Mom and mine were God-fearing women. You and I are rising and soaring on their late night and early morning prayers. However, we can continue to do so but for so long. It is time that we step up and take spiritual responsibility for our lives. Give God glory in everything you do. Honor Him with all of your substance. Be thankful unto Him and bless His name. You life is a gift from Him. What you do with it is your gift back to Him. O.k. sermonette done!!!

I give honor to your parents for doing such a magnificent job raising you. You dad (my big brother) is a trip. We'll laugh about that later:-) But that's why we love him sooooo much. I'm still waiting on him to write that book on child-rearing. I could really use it with your cousin, Alex, who is 20 y/o now. Hit him up on Facebook sometimes. I look forward to the day when he "makes the connections" like you have. He has to because your blood runs through him!

Thanks for allowing me to live vicariously through you, my daughter.

Much love,
Cousin Rodney


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