Homecoming: How To Get Out Of Dodge

The first three Saturdays since school began have been characterized for me by waking up to the campus radio station itself, vendors and crowds of people on my front lawn. When I peek outside I see hoards of people dressed in gold and black drinking, eating, drinking, carrying on, drinking, drinking, drinking... I have tried to survive it by keeping my blinds closed until about 4 or 5 pm when the last stragglers have walked back over to the east side of the Iowa River. I've made plans to meet friends and go on excursions away from campus. But no matter what I do, I am still utterly annoyed and disgusted by it all.

Two weeks ago, I walked outside to go meet my friend at the library, because there was no way she could drive to my apartment and pick me up. It happened to be raining, and as I walked down the street all of the Hawk fans were walking barefoot carrying flip flops in hand, covered in mud, loud, obnoxious and drunk. It took me 30 min over the usual 15 to get to my destination because everyone walks in a huge crowd that takes up the whole street. I ended up walking the wrong way because I couldn't get around the crowd and upon arriving at my destination I saw tailgaters grilling in the library's parking lot. When I came home in the evening after that game day, not only did my block look like a disaster area covered in debris after a hurricane or tornado (i am not exaggerating, will post pictures after tomorrow's game), but in a back yard across from mine there was a dummy dressed in rival Iowa State's jersey hanging in a noose from a tree.

Tomorrow is Homecoming and the standard vendors started to set up shop 2 days earlier than usual. As I went for a walk this evening, I counted 10-15 mobile homes driving through the area. Presumably these were folks from out of town and plan to do some serious tailgating tonight and tomorrow. In anticipation of the shenanigans that are to come, I have devised a plan to get completely out of dodge.

1. Friday night sleepover at my friend Santo's house. [Santo lives in the complete opposite direction of the stadium.]

2. Saturday: Hang out at Santo's house; possibly go to a movie (in the next town over); possibly go to music concert (in Fairfield, Iowa).

3. Do not return until LATE Saturday night, possibly Sunday morning.

Yes, it's that serious...