Monday, March 29, 2010

The Point of it All (Sydnie's Math Lesson)

Recently I realized that I have always and only thought of dating as a means to an end; a means to find a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, make babies with, buy a house with etc. It actually never occurred to me that people just date for the hell of it.

It's a simple thought, but it's profound.

I mean how many times have you started dating a person, only to find out a few (or worse, many) dates later, that you really aren't looking for the same thing? I'll wait...

Now I'm no mathematician, but this made me want to count. I did a rough estimate and I'd say out of the 20 men that I've ever been on dates with (or entertained the thought of going on a date with), only 5 were actually looking for a relationship, and I only wanted to be in a relationship with 2 of them. At a rate where only 10% of every 20 men I date may become a boyfriend, it might take a really looooooooooooong time before I find the one I'd like to settle down with.

I mean, if we just separated all the people who were in it for a good time, from all of the people who were ultimately looking to obtain a long term relationship plus a good time, the world as we know it might be a better place. There would be no confusion at all regarding one's intentions in a relationship. No vague "What is this?" moments. We could cut right to chase. Dating could be spent figuring out if we are compatible, have similar values, make good friends, partners, lovers...

And I know life is a journey, not a destination.

The thing is, I like dating. I really do. There are plenty of good times. In fact, I feel blessed that more times have been good than bad, and all the drama that can usually ensue in dating escapades for the most part can be chalked up to a good story and a laugh. I mean, don't get me started telling you about Milton from Macy's, The Texter, Moley, and Mr. Great 1st Date.

But I wonder, what would the math be like if we only dated in a pool where we all agreed on the point of it all?

1 comment:

sara said...

I certainly know what you mean, Syd-- in many ways it would be nice to know what your date has in mind. But what about those occasions when intentions and expectations are turned inside out? If we divided ourselves into dating pools, we might pass by a right person (I don't think there's ever only one right person). Nah, I think we're best off all mixed up and confused, even if it's a long process. (And I'm with you, babe-- it's a loooong process.)


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