Recently I realized that I have always and only thought of dating as a means to an end; a means to find a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, make babies with, buy a house with etc. It actually never occurred to me that people just date for the hell of it.
It's a simple thought, but it's profound.
I mean how many times have you started dating a person, only to find out a few (or worse, many) dates later, that you really aren't looking for the same thing? I'll wait...
Now I'm no mathematician, but this made me want to count. I did a rough estimate and I'd say out of the 20 men that I've ever been on dates with (or entertained the thought of going on a date with), only 5 were actually looking for a relationship, and I only wanted to be in a relationship with 2 of them. At a rate where only 10% of every 20 men I date may become a boyfriend, it might take a really looooooooooooong time before I find the one I'd like to settle down with.
I mean, if we just separated all the people who were in it for a good time, from all of the people who were ultimately looking to obtain a long term relationship plus a good time, the world as we know it might be a better place. There would be no confusion at all regarding one's intentions in a relationship. No vague "What is this?" moments. We could cut right to chase. Dating could be spent figuring out if we are compatible, have similar values, make good friends, partners, lovers...
And I know life is a journey, not a destination.
The thing is, I like dating. I really do. There are plenty of good times. In fact, I feel blessed that more times have been good than bad, and all the drama that can usually ensue in dating escapades for the most part can be chalked up to a good story and a laugh. I mean, don't get me started telling you about Milton from Macy's, The Texter, Moley, and Mr. Great 1st Date.
But I wonder, what would the math be like if we only dated in a pool where we all agreed on the point of it all?