Sunday, August 22, 2010
"Is it because I'm white?" "Yes."
To my left sat a middle aged white couple who had no rhythm and couldn't catch the beat for the life of them, but certainly looooved them some John Legend. To my rear sat four 50+ black women who sat fanning and rocking themselves in August humidity. To my right sat two white guys who were self-proclaimed best f'n friends forever. Brooklyn born and raised, they were around-the-way kinda dudes who repped Bayside HARD. The Brooklyn Boys shared their refreshments (Gatorade and Absolut Brooklyn) and the lot of us made for a ridiculous peanut gallery during the concert.
It was the kind of concert you go to with your boo. My would-be date couldn't make it that deep into Brooklyn on a work night, and I wasn't missing a full John Legend concert for $5. (Free if I had brought my own seat.) Mr. Brooklyn sitting next to me decided that I'd be his date for the night. We danced a bit together and sang and had a good time.
At the end of the night he asked how I was getting home. Train. He'd walk me there, no need for me to go by myself... And then he started mackin'.
I told him I was involved with someone for several months now. He said it's still puppy love. If I said a year he'd back off. Really?! This dude was bold. Questions continued. What's your sign? (We really still ask that?!) How old are you? (How old do you think I am?) Can I take you out sometime? (No, I don't think so.) Is it because I'm white? Or because of who I am? (Both.) I like an honest woman.
Then he got on his mackin' soap box about how I was closing myself off to the possibility of a wonderful person because of race. I suppose he's right, but I'm stuck on my want for black love. Honestly, even if he'd been the same person, only black, I'd still pass. We already know, I like smart boys. He was a little too around the way for my tastes. Not to mention, I said I'm involved!
It got me to thinking though... How much am I really doing a disservice to myself by not dating white men? No matter what, it just seems that they're not an option. I just don't see myself as a part of a black-white interracial couple. A white dude would have to do a hellaofalot to get me. Just because he's white. Seriously.
I think about white men I know that are both smart and physically attractive. Whenever I try to picture myself with them, the I-got-you-baby and Let-me-hold-on-to-you-and-keep-you-safe kinda swag that a black man has just doesn't seem like it'd be the same from a white man. I know, don't knock it 'til you've tried it, but I just... can't.
Am I alone?